The notion of being a part of a generation Hyper-romantic have become very evident to me over the last months.
As I recently re-read my previous thoughts and reflections on Generation Beziehungsunfähig (Read it here), it is becoming clearer what I was actually wondering about. While extracting the essence of my previous reflections, I also see how inherent european cultural perspectives have affected my sense of identity and self. How the embodied cultural heritage, the unavoidable immersion in the time, western culture and society in which I live, grew up in, affected to which extend I would be able to see, understand and comprehend tendencies and movements in the cultural sphere of europe and the western civilisation clearly.
In the light of this, a revision is needed.
The essence offers itself clearer. I still do not believe that the entire generation are truly incapable of having a relationship, much more are we simply applying reaction patterns and behaviour to love relationships that we learned from all other aspects of our lifes. As an individual you are inevitably immersed in the temporal aspects of the environment in which you exist, let alone the cultural heritage you are offered, abstracting yourself from this, from the inherent perceptions is an act close to impossible. But only close to impossible. Whatever triggers or opens up the ability to abstract from this – is likely to be individually determined. Included is a strong willingness to reflect, a curiosity and an authentic search for truth and clarity to understand yourself and your environment seems to be is essential.
We are a generation that have been brought up with the notion that every possibility is open, we are used to being offered endless options and opportunities. We are constantly facing choices – multiple choices. Our reality consists of a local environment that is actually global, our behaviour reflects the chaotic structure of the internet, every corner of every phenomenon has become accessible, increased transparency and the act of uncovering, decoding any given information has grown into a mechanism similar to our senses. We don’t have to decide to critically question anything because it functions on its own. Uncovering hyper-complex environments and situations to some extent is inherent to us, when facing simple choices in simple situations – we tend to overanalyse because we almost precognitively expect the situation and choice to be complex, we are almost incapable of understanding and accepting simplicity. We also tend to be critically paranoid to an extend that holds a great potential to practice the wonderful act of self-sabotage when a situation such as a complete, immersive connection in a relationship is given. The challenge of simply trusting and believing in such a miracle happening – is a truly difficult act. Again it is only difficult because you would not be able to compare or relate this situation to anything you have ever experienced. Such a connection will happen once – which stresses the importance of your own willingness to enter, to fully trust that the connection is real.
When it comes to love, relationship, any wish to start a family, reproduce and so on – we are incapable of not applying these mechanisms. Our acquired knowledge and inherent functionalities take over until we face the final choice, stay or go? This is the point where you are offered the possibility to abstract from your cultural heritage, to take the leap of faith or as Søren Kierkegaard called it – take the leap to faith.
The Generation Beziehungsunfähig consist of only those who do not dare to take the leap to faith – the ones who are for whatever reason incapable or unwilling of abstracting. Defining a term like Generation Hyper-Romantic would be premature. At this point it would be more accurate to describe it as a growing tendency within the Generation Beziehungsunfähig – it is those who are willing and capable of abstracting the cultural heritage and beliefs from their own existence. A reaction to the generic perception, the embodied western cultural values and the related expected behavioural patterns. It should not be considered as any valuation, any sort of judgement of any individual or the society. In the end every individual have a free will to decide and every individual will be less or more open and motivated to change.
While observing the relationships that friends, family and acquaintances choose to enter, it is highly likely that you’ll notice the notion of Generation Beziehungsunfähig being confirmed. Friends and relatives in a relationship that lack a true connection on every level of their being, that is mentally, physically, spiritually, in their daily life, shared values, wishes for the future, interests and hobbies, are essentially not happy. It is common that the parties force, fight to sustain the situation, to not feel alone, to not feel anxiety, in order to not change even if it means being unhappy. Discontent, resistance and drama thrives while they continuously ignore the signs pointing to their unhappy and unfulfilled state of being.
I know very few – if any – human beings who are in a relationship where they experience a true connection, that penetrates all aspects of their being. Meeting such a partner, where you experience this connection, couldn’t be your everyday experience as meeting this person would and will disrupt your life. You would be incapable of not entering the relationship, incapable of not connecting and ignoring the connection. Apart from the anxiety you most likely would feel and have to deal with, you would experience a deep, calm feeling of purity, clarity and happiness. A state where no doubt, no excuses or explanations would be present or occur, where you sense and perceive your state of being purely and clearly. When you meet this person – you are given the ability to recklessly act without hesitation and doubt, the ability to act with clarity, consistency, strength and patience. This ability and the related actions characterise a tendency in our generation that could be understood as the reaction to the traits and characteristics of the Generation Beziehungsunfähig. If you experience this actual fully immersive connection on every level – you are per se distanced and no longer related to Generation Beziehungsunfähig other than being the reaction to the phenomenon. As you discover your infinite capabilites to effortlessly stretch, change and open yourselves for that one person.
With the exception of those in our generation who has not dealt with the anxiety that arises when meeting this person. What Michael Nast described and characterised is not per se wrong it just lacks perspective and accuracy. What he saw and described is simply a symptom – a major tendency in the behaviour of our generation. Whatever reasons you have, be it fear, anxiety etc. is individually determined and regardless of your reasons facing them is what is required to raise your state of being to sense fulfillment contentment, happiness, and the immersive connection on every level of your being.
Every other scenario that extends from not facing your individual reasonings are symptoms, signs, distortions or perversions originating from selfsabotage. Enter an open relationship is an extension of settling, if you feel unhappy and unfulfilled with your partner – you start looking else where and find an additional partner to fill out the void, seeking to ignore your unhappy feelings, loneliness and anxiety and thereby perform selfsabotage. When a relationship seems to work, when the possibility seems to be open, the phrase – you might as well give it a try – is usually applied as a general rule of conduct and it is a mechanisms that relates to how our generation generally behave and approach this love relationship phenomenon.
If only the relationship truly would be working, if only it was possible to apply our general rule of behaviour to the phenomenon and still be able to experience a true connection with another person – the term Generation Beziehungsunfähig wouldn’t be valid. But both couldn’t and wouldn’t simultaneously work. To experience the fully immersive, the entire connectedness, the holistic global all consuming síntonia of mental, physical, emotional and psychic ties; a connection integrated in your smallest cells, so infinitely intense and continuously expanding – will mean recklessly leaving everything else behind. Courage and faith is needed when meeting this person who pierces and penetrates not only your skin surface, every cell of your body, flesh, mind, heart, interacting and interfering with the rhythmic beat of your heart while following the rhythm of your exhalation and inhalation. The sensation of perfect immersion, the constructive interference of wave energies consisting of a multitude of layers coming from two different sources feels surreal and in turn – faith and courage is required to make the incomprehensible comprehensible.
The tendency and reactions to Generation Beziehungsunfähig characterise individuals who do not live for the short lived, intense relationship of love between two people, Generation Beziehungsunfähig live for the short lived, intense relationship of love between two people.
We seek to find each other in love, connectedness, we decide not out of necessity, to make ends meet, to fit in the norm of society. But sometimes we decide on someone out of anxiety, loneliness, a longing for something that in that moment feels stronger than anything else. Whatever you choose – do it with awareness and reflection, do it actively, face your fears, doubts and avoid the temptation of believing that being single is equal to being lonely or unable to connect with others. And then continuously revise your choices.
In abstracting yourself from Generation Beziehungsunfähig – you are not missing out. You gain clarity – you distance yourself from doubts and critical questioning. In this state of pure clarity and immersive love – short term romances become empty, in this state you effortlessly distance yourself because what you could eventually learn is a truth about life, sacrifice, love and yourself.
Kaputte 